Posted in Mondays

Skilled or not??

Hiya, Welcome back to PEP! I did do some baking last week. It was my first attempt at a filled pastry and it actually went really well and they’re delicious. You can see the picture of the éclairs on my Instagram, linked in my social connections. Also there is a picture of the wreath I made and donated to an Autism Awareness fundraiser this last weekend, via Imaginative HandiCrafts. I believe you should support what you believe in, no matter what anyone says. I support a lot of causes, autism awareness being one of them. I support full equality to all rights, regardless of race, gender, sexuality, nationality or religion. I also fully support a lot of cause regarding animals and children. I can go on about a lot of other causes but some are fairly controversial so if you want to continue this ‘conversation’, drop me a line below. While this is a Haven from politics and the like, I want everyone to feel welcome to talk about anything, even if not everyone can be pleased. I just won’t allow any Hate here.

This week’s question: What skill(s) would you like to master?

My answer: I have a few skills I’d like to master. I want to learn several other languages, currently I only speak English-my native language, and out of date sign language. It’s been several years since I regularly used the sign language so while I still have the ABCs down pat, the other signs are fairly rusty and it’s the original sign language, not the newer version. On top of that, however, I’d also like to master the guitar. I took lessons for a few months several years ago but when I started to pick it back up, teaching myself since I can read the music, I found my guitar had been shaken out of tune by the couple of moves it’d gone through and it is so bad, I can’t get it back into tune. I need to figure out what to do about that. I also want to master crochet. I’ve got the basic but unfortunately, my teacher, who was only once in a while really as we lived in different cities, was my grandmother who passed away quite suddenly a couple of years ago and I simply haven’t had the time to sit down and focus on it. Those are my top skills I want to master short-term. What are some you want to learn and what are some you have mastered?

This week’s writing: I’m not sure where the hell this came from… It’s not the usual path my writing takes… perhaps it’s the mood I’m in… I don’t know.

We’re not twins. Most people believe we are, fraternal as it may be, as we share the same last name and are clearly the same age. We do share the same birthday and creepily enough, just a few minutes apart but we’re not twins. He’s just some boy my parents got a couple of days after bringing me home from the hospital to be my playmate. I don’t know where he came from, nor does he obviously and my parents refuse to share that detail. They’ve made it clear that he’s not their child, though, and just my companion.

We’ve let people believe he’s my twin brother to make it easier. It helps that he has brown hair just a few shade lighter than mine even if my eyes are blue to his brown. But while he acts like he’s my twin brother outside of the house, even going so far as to protect me from any boys like ‘brothers’ do for their ‘sisters’; he’s always reminded he’s not my brother once we’ve returned home.

Very few people are allowed in our home beyond the living room and for good reason. Even my friends are only allowed so far as my room, which I have my own obviously as we are different genders, and he’s not allowed to have any friends over. It would be too hard to hide the differences between my bedroom suite on the second floor and his attic bedroom, too hard to explain why I’m allowed to do whatever I want and he’s only allowed to do what I want unless I don’t want to be near him. Then, he’s not allowed to leave his bedroom. I’m always right, he’s always wrong. It’s simply how things are. But even I know some people wouldn’t understand the difference in how we’re treated, even if all of my ‘brother’s’ needs are provided for, over and beyond. We used to be really close when we were children and I didn’t understand why he was treated differently than me. But as we’ve gotten older, closer to 16, his importance has mattered less to me. I don’t know why, nothing has changed as far as I know. Whatever. © Paula Crofoot

This week’s music as I’m posting this: If Nobody Believed In You by Joe Nichols-Life’s a Dance

Posted in Mondays

I See You Now

Hiya, Welcome back to PEP! Last week ended up being a week off from everything, including my baking, the only exception being the blog post last Monday. As such, I don’t have a new recipe to share about. However, I’ve got plans this week for something new and will let ya’ll know next week how it turns out. It’ll be my first attempt at this difficulty level so we’ll see.

This week’s Question: What is your dream job?

My answer: My dream job is a published author. I want to be able to spend all day writing and live off of what I make. Even if my books only reach a few people, I’d consider myself successful. I have several novels in first draft status and am currently editing the first for the third, and hopefully final, draft so I can submit it for publishing. Even if it’s not successful the first time, I’m going to keep trying. I refuse to give up until I make it. I’ve got several ideas that I wouldn’t mind implementing as careers but not only do they definitely need money to do so but writing is my long-time dream. What are some of ya’lls dream jobs?

This week’s writing:

I see you every day but I haven’t Looked at you in months. Perhaps even longer than that. I realize my mistake now, now that it’s nearly too late. We nearly lost you and it’s our own damn faults. But see if anyone will admit that though? No, they’d rather blame you for trying to escape the hell we put you through. I don’t. I refuse to blame you for trying to escape the hell your parents put you through that the rest of us all missed. I saw you every day at school but so caught up with my friends, I’d missed you slowly withdrawing into yourself more and more until you might as well not be there. That is, except when the school bullies were taunting you. I saw them but I didn’t see them. I didn’t see your enthusiasm for school wane, I didn’t see your love for art, English, colors disappear. I missed the way you stopped wearing whatever you wanted, regardless of what others thought and start wearing sweats and hoodies in an attempt to disappear. Not that it worked. I never liked Brian and his friends anyway but was safe from them as a member of the baseball team. As a punk, band-playing, outcast, you were a target, a sitting duck really. As I’ve learned recently, one of their favorite targets. You’ve been on your own for way too long.

I swear that will change. We’ll be friends again, I won’t leave you again. That is, once you wake up, Z. It’s been a month, the docs say you should wake up any time and I’m not leaving until you do. I failed you once, it won’t happen again. © Paula Crofoot

This week’s music as I’m posting this: Selma Drye by Kellie Pickler from The Woman I Am

Posted in Mondays

Never Forget 9/11!

Hiya! Welcome back to PEP! For all of my fellow Americans-

Remember-9-11 temp blog

We will Remember 9/11! 9-11-01, hard to believe it’s been 16 years. I was fortunate enough to not personally lose anyone but I still remember those the country lost both in the actual attacks and rescues made afterwards.

Last week’s baking turned out well. I ended up baking old fashioned spicy ginger cookies, posted on my Instagram, and mocha brownies-those I didn’t post. Both turned out really well. I’m not sure what I’ll bake this week but I’ll be sure to update next week.

This week’s question: The words I’d like to live by are…?

My answer: I actually have a few different sayings I try to live by. 1. Don’t fear the storms, dance in the rain. 2. Go big or go home. 3. March to the beat of your own drum. 4. Live to live, not to survive. Basically, I try to live as I desire, do it to the best of my ability, to not be afraid to try new things and live, not just survive day to day. Now, I’m human so I’ll admit that I’m not perfect, I don’t always live by my mottos though each day, I’m getting better about it. I know that as I got older, I started retreating a bit as adulthood hit but I’m working on being better about that.

This week’s writing:

Colt struggled to stay awake during Algebra 1. This was such a boring class. His best friend, Eric, sat in front of him, equally bored out of his mind, while the two nerds beside the two of them cheerfully took notes. They’d sat next to each other until their teach decided they were distracting each other too much and switched Eric with one of the math geeks in front of them.

Just before Colt resorted to throwing paper balls at Eric, the window next to him providing no entertainment due to the cloudy day, the lights went out.

Colt winced as the girl next to him shrieked in shock before the lights jolted back on. Colt frowned, the lights had only been out for like, maybe 5 seconds. What the hell? He glanced at the window to see if the weather was maybe the reason and blinked when he saw a sticky-note he knew for a fact was not there before. It had one word, RUN!

He glanced around, seeing nothing to run from, and kicked Eric’s chair. Eric turned, raising a black eyebrow and Colt tilted his head to the window. He saw the moment Eric read the note cross his face as both eyebrows raised. He shrugged in answer to Eric’s unspoken question. Just then, explosions lit up the back of the building and Colt jolted out of his seat, grabbing Eric’s arm and pulling them both out of the classroom before anyone had a chance to react.

“Shit, fire, man!”

Colt saw the back halls lit up on fire but didn’t otherwise react to Eric’s words, still pulling him along to the stairs in the front of the school building.

“Let’s go!”

They were thankful to the bizarre warning, even if the two didn’t know who it came from. Thanks to the warning, they were able to react faster and avoid the ensuing stampede and getting stuck in the building and burned alive.

As they stood outside of the building, watching it burn, they both tried to figure out what the hell was happening.

“I know what’s going on.”

They both turned at the soft whisper but there was no one there. © Paula Crofoot

This week’s music: as I’m posting this: Love by Sugarland: Love On The Inside

Posted in Mondays

Happy Labor Day!!

Hiya! Welcome back to PEP! Happy Labor Day to my fellow Americans! I don’t have any exact plans other than to do nothing. I didn’t get around to any baking last week, even the most orderly of plans can go awry. But I have plans for a recipe this week that I’ll post about on here next week; it’ll be my first attempt at something of this nature.

This week’s journaling question: The ways I’ve grown over the past 5 years is…

The primary thing that has changed over the last five years for me is I’m not as shy, or rather, my shyness doesn’t cripple me like it used to. I’m still just as shy as I was when I was a teenager, though if you ask my friends back then they’ll look at you like you’ve lost your mind. I’m fine around people I’ve known for at least a couple of months but new people, not so much. However, when I graduated college, the economy took a plunge and despite my degree, I couldn’t find a job so I ended up in retail as I had adult bills rolling in. Nothing wrong with retail, not at all, just not what I had intended to do when I headed to college. However, you get in trouble if you can’t make at least small talk with the people at your register as I had landed a cashier position with my previous experience from during college. As such, I’m now able to make eye contact and small talk with random people, though I still don’t do it regularly, and that’s something that’s changed in the last five years, a way I’ve grown. This isn’t the question but something I think I’ve lost over the last five years is a touch of my fearlessness. So much adult responsibility and burns from trusted people, has made me much more cautious in the leaps I take in various aspects of my life. That’s as far on that particular topic I think I’ll delve into today.

This week’s writing:

His blue eyes burned with intensity of hatred she hadn’t seen in years. It delighted and worried her at the same time. It made her curious as to just what he’s gone through to ignite that kind of anger and hatred. Though the anger was unseen, that kind of hatred cannot exist without anger hand in hand.

She cautiously approached the stranger, “New to this area?”

He glanced at her briefly before turning his attention back to the smart phone in his hand.

“What are you looking for, maybe I can help?”

This time the crystal blue eyes focused on her longer, sending a chill down her spine before he looked back at his phone.

Before she could ask again, he lifted his phone, screen facing her, “Seen him?”

She took a look at the phone, not daring to reach for it for a better look, and did indeed recognize the green eyed brunet.

“Yeah, though I don’t know his name. I’ve seen him around the bed and breakfast downtown as well as the old Murphy house out in the country. Small town, all strangers are noticed.”

He nodded once before leaving her, phone tucked once more in his pocket.

She watched him go, wondering if perhaps she should call the police before shaking her head, she didn’t want to become anymore involved in this than she already was. It clearly wasn’t good blood between the two. It could only mean danger for anyone caught in the crosshairs of whatever the green eyed stranger had done to the blue eyed stranger.

She was glad she hadn’t gotten involved when she saw the headlines of the small town newspaper the next morning. © Paula Crofoot

This week’s music: as I’m posting this: Scars to Your Beautiful by Alessia Cara (I mentioned my music tastes were eclectic and all over the board, didn’t I?)