Year of Change

This is to be my year of change.

My birthday is November 8. 2023 will mark a significant age. It’s one that’s not too old but not exactly young either. Not to old to do anything I want with my life yet, but not young enough to no longer worry about possibly achieving what I want.

Nevertheless, when I was looking at my life in November 2022, I wasn’t unhappy but wasn’t exactly happy either. I just was. And that’s not enough. Not anymore. Especially after all the uncertainty and upheaval of the last nearly 3 years. Changes need to be made. Some things are out of my control right now due to various reasons, but other things aren’t.

So I made a list.

A few lists, actually.

Something that soothes me and helps me keep control are lists, doesn’t really matter what the lists are made of. Lists of my dreams, lists of to-dos, lists of possible achievments, lists of things that I enjoy.

So I made a few lists of goals that I want to achieve in this next year before my birthday in November. Now, I realize that it is February. I’ve had a few delays, something that I prepared for when I was making my goals for each month throughout the year. I know things crop up, things hinder and even change completely. I know myself well enough, that if I try to tie myself to an exact timeline too tightly where anything throws me off and I miss a deadline, I will spiral and then nothing will get done. So while I, of course, don’t know what the actual delays or hurdles may be, I know they will exist so I account for them.

Goals for Year of Change

• Lose at least 50 pounds (Goal Weight of January 1, 2024 is around 260)
  1. Lose at least 1-2 pounds a week(giving myself wiggle room as not every week will lose)
  2. Work out consistently
  3. Better diet
  4. Control portions
• Get in better health
  1. Go to the doctor-haven’t been in a long while
  2. Get fit as I lose weight
     1. Build muscle and strength
     2. Better endurance via cardio
     3. A better workout program that doesn’t require subscription(Don’t want to pay subscription for the next 10+ years)
  3. Dental work-broken tooth driving me bananas
• Grow the businesses
  1. Grow the blog by posting weekly-(That’s this blog)
  2. Crofoot Cottage Studio by various avenues
  3. Paula’s Pet Paradise by having a information and contact page on blog, Instagram and Facebook + other avenues
  4. Mystical Rose Book Shoppe via Pango and Poshmark
  5. Crofoot Cottage by selling on Poshmark
• Self-Care
  1. Journal Consistently
  2. Skin care-most is genetics but help doesn’t hurt and helps mindset
  3. Research-I enjoy learning
• Better myself
  1. Research each month so I continue to learn: computer, books, magazines, museums +
     1. Fashion-Shadows and myself
     2. American & European History
     3. Wolves/Tigers/Lions/Leopards/Panther
     4. Notebooks: various subjects
  2. Continue French lessons
  3. Learn new skills and better current-Craftsy/Skillshare+ (Includes crafts)
     1. Diamond Painting
     2. Wood Burning
     3. Candle Making
     1. Macramé
     2. Photography
     3. RPG Games
     4. Videography?
     5. Biking?
  4. Learn and get better at current hobbies
     1. Art/Crafts Hobbies: Cricut/Loom Knitting/Needlework/Latch hook/Sewing/Crochet/Perler Bead/Drawing/Paint/Scrapbooking/
     2. Technical(Not necessarily electronic) Hobbies: Video Games/Computer Game/Lego kits/Miniature Buildings/Models/Wooden Builds/3D Puzzles
        1. Games: Sims 4/Minecraft/Fall Guys/Edith/Yoshi/Animal Crossing/Misfortune/Fay/Mario and Rabbids/Mario’s Odyssey/Minecraft Dungeons/Stardew/
     3. Music Hobbies: Guitar/Piano
     4. Misc Hobbies: Board Games/Gardening/Calligraphy/Left Hand/
     5. Baking Hobby: Bread/Cupcakes/Cakes/Pies/Gingerbread/Desserts
  5. Read at least 50 books
     1. Join local Library and look at other public libraries
     2. Look into TBR List and TBR pile
• Publish at least 1 book, even if it means Self-Publish
  1. Publish 1st novel
  2. Work up publishing order list
  3. Work up writing order list
• Continue progress on graphic novel: The Shadows
  1. Concrete Plot of The Shadows
  2. Concrete design of each Shadow
     1. Create substance of each Shadow-looks, personality, age, creations, abilities, power,
     2. Create connections to each other
  3. Good development of the world they live in
     1. Immediate surroundings
     2. Worlds Shannon, Kerry and Aurelia hail from(including Izzy though they were created on Earth)
     3. Magic system
     4. Government system
     5. Start other characters
        1. “Google” and “Bing”
        2. Irish Brothers
        3. Shannon’s human friends?
• Establish Garden
  1. 2-fold purpose: gets me and Mom out in sun and fresh air and gives us our own produce-in long run cutting down on groceries and creating better diet
  1. Create landscaping-including cone and tire idea
• Settle into CB further
  1. Research Chickens and Goats
  2. Research Fencing
  3. Research Pottery and other outdoor hobbies
  4. Buy riding lawn mower
• Buy new car-giving Dakota to Mom and trading Tony-so both cars are dependable
• Reduce debt
  1. Reduce charges
  2. Pay down
  3. Increase income
• Build in relax time w/out guilt for not continually going and going and going

A few more details regarding this list.

Regarding weight loss: I have a significant amount of weight to lose, for a few reasons. Number one is overall health, which ties into the second item on my list. My health isn’t horrible but it can definitely improve, step one is to lose the weight. But I don’t want to just drop the weight, I want to better my endurance, build muscle and strength rather than just trim the waist. My current work outs are on a subscription service which just keeps increasing in $$ and I don’t want to tie myself to a paid subscription forevermore just to keep the weight off.

I have a few businesses. My primary business is Paula’s Pet Paradise. I want to build a website for it, connect it to various social platforms to grow it. I’m currently only sitting but wish to expand in the future for boarding so I can be home more often without cutting into my sitting which requires hiring employees. I’m also working on establishing Crofoot Cottage Studios selling handmade items-physical and digital- on various platforms, Crofoot Cottage-selling items I no longer need, Mystical Rose Book Shoppe selling books that are not a part of my personal library. The goals are to expand all of my businesses and increase my income so I can not only rest comfortably, I can care for my mom since she’s done so much for me and don’t want her to be working forever, but also need $$ to achieve many other goals not on this list. I also want to lessen my debtload that I have from various avenues and reasons.

Self-care is still in development. I’m still working on what it means to me. Journaling helps my mind, skin-care helps my skin. I actually have good skin, most of which is good genetics but help doesn’t hurt and learning helps my mind as well. Exercise is also included in a way in self-care. Relaxing is also a part of self-care that I’m still working on. Right now, I have a coloring book app on my tablet that I am obsessed with that is helping so much.

Bettering myself currently is primarily researching and learning. I’m fascinated by how so many things work, various animals, and always feel better when I learn more each week. But bettering myself is liable to shift and change.

I started learning French last year and want to continue it, plus I want to learn more craft mediums-both personally and professionally- and different skills. I also want to improve on the skills and abilities that I already know. Starting with just this list right now. I love games so I want to keep playing the games on the list-to either completion or for fun. I’m also adding the games as I find them, such as some on Steam and Gamejolt. I love baking and finally have a kitchen that I can actually bake, plus I received a bread and ice cream machine for Christmas that is so much fun to use.

I am a bibliophile-I currently have 4 nearly full bookcases, 5 shelf 6 foot tall ones- and have loved to read since I was 4 years old, reading ahead of my grade level nearly my entire school career. But my reading has fallen off the last few years-mostly due to burnout in other aspects of my life-so I want to reignite that flame.

I am also a writer-have been writing since I was about 11 years old. Well, 11 years old in the sense that the stories actually made sense written on paper but I’ve been creating stories in my mind since I was little. I have several novels completed, once that I’m ready to actually submit to be published. I’m working on traditional publishing for right now but if I can’t get it going anywhere by fall, I’ll look into self-publishing it, all the while writing other novels and short stories. Some of which I’ll post here, others will be locked and unlocked on my Patreon and Ko-Fi, both are linked on my social links on the side bar.

Alongside my written novels, I am currently working on a graphic novel. This will take a long while, not only due to my drawing ability-traditional and digital-needing improvement, but also the development of the world and characters of my novel and making sure it’s just as firm as my written novels. I’ve always enjoyed comic books, graphic novels and anime books and drawing nearly as long as I’ve been writing, though not to the same talent level. But I enjoy it and it’s a pleasure project so I’ll work on it no matter if it’s harder than it might be for others. I’ll post some about it here and on my Patreon and Ko-fi as it’s developed.

I enjoy gardening as well as am pretty good at it and am currently living on an acre so I want to establish a good size vegetable garden as it will not only improve my and my mom’s diet but will also lessen grocery budget in the long run.

My home-CB TX- is still in the process of being settled in between monetary limits and I’ve been gone so much with my primary business being pet-sitting so I want to finish it this year, preferably by May overall with just a few shifts and changes maybe.

My car is a 2008 Ford SUV, in decent shape and very dependable but crossed 100,000 miles last year. My mom’s car is her dream car, a 2015, but unfortunately, as fun as it is to drive, it is a lemon as it will not keep a good battery no matter what we’ve done-fixing recalls, getting a new battery since the OG owner had it as a collectible. So we’ll be trading her car in, buying me something new-ish and she’ll keep my car since he’s dependable and I need something with far less miles with all the travel I do.

Unfortunately, the way I grew up in my teen and young adult years, I feel like if I’m not constantly being productive in some manner or another, I’m wasting my time. I need to be doing something better and more important. That’s a large part of my drop off in reading and some other more relaxed hobbies like gaming in the recent years. I’m not entirely sure where this ‘pressure’ is from, as it’s certainly not from family. They’re very supportive. But I’m working on letting it go this year and relax a lot more. It’s going fairly well so far but I have my moments.

So, that is my Year of Change goals. There have been many improvement over these last few months, since this actually started in November, but I’ll go in more detail in a future post on that.

See Y’all later!

Wednesday Writing Prompts: Aisle; Legacy; Animal;

Hey, Y’all!

When I imagined her coming down the aisle, I didn’t imagine her in a casket

Maybe, if you were better trained, you could leave behind a legacy instead of a corpse

Everyone has a ghostly spirit animal that follows them through life. You discover yours is a human.

Enjoy!

See Y’all Later!

Are you being kind to yourself?

Wednesday Writing Prompts: Ancient; Loved; Difference;

Hey, Ya’ll!

We are the remnants of ancient explorers, adapted to our new environment. And we remember just how fearsome we used to be.

“Silly girl, did you actually think I loved you?”

“I was being protective.” “No, you were being possessive. There is a difference.”

Enjoy!

See Y’all Later!

Do you have a bucket list? Are you ticking those items off before it’s too late?

Wednesday Writing Prompts: Need; 69; Wolf;

Hey, Y’all!

One day you’ll need me and I Won’t be there, you get what you give

Yesterday, I wrote 69 on my wrist as a joke. Today it’s 68, and now it’s not washing off.

So tell me little wolf, do you want to punish those who have wronged you?

Enjoy!

See y’all next time!

If you die tomorrow, have you lived your life the way you wanted?

Self-Improvement September

Hey, Y’all!

I have been focusing on self-improvement all year in various aspects of my life. But September, especially, is Self-Improvement month. I’ve been doing a 12 month better you challenge where each month focuses on a different thing you can do to improve your health; like drink more water, eat fruits and vegetable, take a walk. Funnily enough, September is going to be the only month I fail of the challenge. It’s Find a Workout buddy and I don’t know anyone to be my work out buddy, even from afar to simply be an accountability partner.

I’ve also focused on different challenges each month to improve different aspects of my life, from health, doing my hobbies and things I enjoy doing more to actually live and not just exist, to saving money and cutting my debt. I’m making progress, slow progress but progress.

I’m focusing September on two things I need to do better. I’m going to workout for at least 1 hour five days a week for at least 3 weeks this month. I’m working out an hour as I was working out for 30 minutes five days a week and instead of losing weight, for whatever reason I haven’t been able to figure out, my weight was going up. I’m hoping focusing more on my portions along with working out more will help. I’m doing Muscle burns Fat (Day 18 today) and Morning Meltdown 100 (Day 44 today) on Beachbody as well as a 30 day squat challenge. I don’t expect to keep this rigorous workout permanently, it’s too much. But if, with more portion focus, I could at least jump-start my weight to going back down again. I refuse to work out on weekends, I give my body the time it needs to recover on the weekends while still watching my portions. I’m also working on only eating when I’m truly hungry, not just eating on the schedule my body is accustomed to.

I also make a schedule for myself each week, and then at the end of each week, I more often than not don’t feel like I’ve accomplished anything, even though I did check things off my to-do list. I’m working on separating my days into blocks of time where I can focus on pieces of my projects and really feel like I’m making headway. Some of my projects are careers, like my pet care business, this blog. Some of my projects are personal passions, some of my projects are personal projects that I want to make into something bigger but need a lot of work yet. But alongside setting aside blocks each week for business, personal hobbies, education, I’m trying to be easier on myself.

I grew up in a time where it was expected that you would go to college, which I didn’t mind, but to go to college, you had to have a fleshed out resume, you had to be well-rounded, you had to be constantly productive in the views of society. I was at the lead of the over-pressured, be constantly productive generation, but I was an older child when that lifestyle came into play. I still remember playing outside, not constantly being on technology or needing to constantly prepping for college so I can prepare for adulthood as so many are expected to do now.

But even though it’s been a while since I graduated college(I have a reunion later this year-hint hint), I still feel like I’m wasting my time if I’m not constantly productive, if I take time for a hobby that doesn’t make money or even to just do nothing. I’m working on that mindset this month. If I’m in a time block that’s not set aside for something specific, I’m allowed to not do anything or to do a hobby/passion that not’s a career or that others may consider a waste of time and yet, at the same time, if it is time that’s set specifically for something and I don’t accomplish what is on my to do list or my 5 year plan, then that’s okay. It’s a 5 year plan for a reason, I did my best to leave flexibility so I’m not constantly pressured. I’ve always marched to the beat of my own drum but even then, I still felt like I had to be productive by society’s standards rather than simply relaxing and feeling like it was okay to spend hours on one thing like reading or playing video games or one of my craft hobbies.

So September has special focus on my health as it’s only worsening despite my best attempts, focus on accomplishing to-dos without feeling like I’m only constantly working and going easy on myself if I’m not doing something ‘acceptable’ by society standards or even doing nothing at all. So self-improvement as well as self-care. I’ve burnt myself out twice this year already where I then feel set-back as I cannot work on anything except my pet-care business as I’m too tired and we’re not even going to go into last year.

What is it you would like to improve in your life? Comment below if you’re comfortable doing so. I’d love to hear from y’all.

See Y’all Later!

You weren’t born to be perfect, you were born to be you(One of my life motivations)

Wednesday Writing Prompts: Vigil; Said; Knife;

Hey, Ya’ll!

Her children kept vigil through the bedroom window every night, even after their coffins were nailed shut.

“Those things you said yesterday… did you mean them?”

The knife was buried so deep, only the handle could be seen.

Feel free to comment below if any of these inspire you to write!

See Y’all Later!

You weren’t born to be perfect, you were born to be you

Wednesday Writing Prompts: Skeletons; Mind; Bus

Hey, Ya’ll!

“Of course, There are no skeletons in my closet. I do, however, keep a tiny black box of souls in my sock drawer.”

“You’d lose your mind trying to understand mine.”

My wife just texted me to say the school bus was running late. Then, what bus did my daughter just get on?

Have Fun!

See Y’all Later!

Don’t let who you were then stop who you are now from becoming the person you want to be in the future.

Wednesday Writing Prompts: Looking; King; Snow;

Hey, Ya’ll!

And he looked at me, like there was something in me worth looking at

I am the daughter of a king who forgot my name

Forget the children in the corn… around here you need to look out for the children in the snow

Have Fun!

See Y’all Next Time!

Don’t let who you were then stop who you are now, from becoming the person you want to be in the future

Wednesday Writing Prompts: Peanut Butter; Too Late; Lady;

Hey, Y’all!

“Really? I sent you to the store to buy peanut butter and you come home with this?”

• 

If you’re reading this, it’s too late.

Because my momma raised me to be a lady, I know when and what fork to use at a formal dinner. Because she didn’t raise a fool, I know what artery to stick it in so that you will bleed out in one minute.

Have fun!

See Y’all Next Time!

What did I Do?

Hey, Y’all!

Brendan stared at the carnage surrounding him, both seeing the blood painting the walls and not seeing any of it at the same time. If he heard the footsteps coming up behind him, there was no acknowledgement. The owner of the footsteps walked up beside the catatonic man, looking at the damage that had been done in such a small space. Dexter glanced at the still silent man, back at the carnage, and back at the unresponsive man. He reached out a hand and poked him, finally getting a reaction.

          Brendan sucked in a deep breath, feeling as if his heart was restarting even as his chest seized from what he was seeing.

          “Did I…?”

          Dexter responded with a simple, “Yes.”

          “How… Why? Can this even be fixed?”

          “It’s okay. You just forgot who you are. Welcome back.”

          Brendan turned to stare at Dexter, “How are you so calm?”

          “You’ve been lost to us for 3 days, I’ve already had my breakdown. Now it’s your turn.”

          “Lost… How did I do this? What made me do this?”

          “We’re not entirely sure, though we have our theories. Speaking of, the others will be eagerly awaiting our return. Shall we?”

          Body shaking as he slowly came out of his shock and was trying desperately to suppress his breakdown just yet, Brendan silently nodded.

          It didn’t take long for Brendan and Dexter to return to the home they shared with the other four members of their claimed family.

          Finn was by Brendan’s side instantly, eyes peering at his partner’s blood-covered face in concern.

          “Are you okay, Bren?”

          His shakes were becoming larger and more noticeable as he shook his head no.

          Finn looked at Dexter who had been joined by his partner, Cleo.

          “He hasn’t had his breakdown over having been lost to us and what he did yet.”

          Finn nodded and slipped his hands into Brendan’s, who grasped his tightly, needing the grounding feel of his partner’s support. Brendan’s blue eyes found Finn’s calm brown ones, finding the calm support he needed.  

          Finn, never taking his eyes away from Brendan’s, told the others, “We’ll be back out when Brendan has broken down and recovered.”

          Leaving no room for argument, Finn led Brendan to their shared room; not that any of the others would have argued. Considering the way his free will and innocence had just been completely stripped from him, they felt that Brendan deserved all the time to come to terms with what had happened that they could afford to give him.

What exactly do you think Brendan did that has him so traumatized? How do you think someone took such control of him? Comment your thoughts below!

See Y’all Next Time!

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Monday Motivation